Jeez.
You people around the world act so surprised.
U.S. gambles blamed for world’s financial crisis
You were really counting on our self-restraint and sober judgment?
From a country where:
- The Government violates the spirit, if not the actual letter, of its foundational documents with impunity?
- The breakdown of urban society is escalating?
- Our environmental policy is identical to that of a deadbeat avoiding a process server?
- Anti-Corporate Schadenfreude has been in the making for some time now?
- Our President has demonstrated such an aptitude for self-destructive decision-making that describing it has become an industry itself?
For Chrissakes — in a more honest world, Lady Liberty would have been replaced with a 150 foot tall statue of Amy Winehouse by now.
And yet you say that you didn’t see this coming?
Well — then maybe this will also catch you off-guard:
I’m disappointed in YOU, Rest-of-the-World!
As an American, I’ve felt that I had to apologize for my country’s missteps when I’ve traveled abroad for the last eight years. When you’re an American outside of America, most everyone wants to talk politics with you — or, more specifically, they want to know what the hell is going on with us over here.
Each time, I’ve felt like a kid with a morbidly obese relative — cringing every time that someone noticed them gorging themselves, wheezing after a short walk, or …you know… crumpling an innocent, unsuspecting chair with their mammoth girth. You love them. You try to get them to take better care of themselves. And you lose a piece of your heart every time you hear yourself making excuses for them.
If I had known that the people of the world weren’t really paying attention, I wouldn’t have wasted my breath with explanations! Because while you were making fun of my fat Uncle Sam, you were slipping him money that you knew he’d spend on junk food.
And now you’re pissed that he’s so fat and broken down that he can’t pay you back right away?!?!
Really? That doesn’t seem very sporting.
So, to my country, I say this:
“Are you ready to go on a diet now, Sam?!?”
To everyone else, I’d still like to say “Sorry about the chair….”
