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BBC NEWS – Clinton will fight ‘like Rocky’
When the Democratic Primary set up shop in Pennsylvania, I felt the same thing as many Americans did…
“Please God — No unfortunate ‘Rocky’ comparisons.”
And yet, the unthinkable — and totally foreseeable — thing has happened once again in American Politics.
Hillary has crossed the line.
She’s politicized Rocky Balboa.
Full disclosure here — I have Italian ancestors. Bill Conti’s theme makes my jaw stick out about a half-a-foot like an angry monkey/man as I run around my house shadowboxing … until the wheezing overtakes me. I don’t claim to understand why this happens — I am a mystery to myself. All I know is that, when the trumpet fanfare starts, I’m on my feet and swinging at shit.
So letting this insulting pander pass unmentioned simply isn’t in the cards today. Man/Monkey says “No!”
Atavistic instincts aside — here’s my problem with you, Hillary:
You’ll assimilate anything that you think will help you win.
Barack wants change? “I’m running on 35 years of change!”, you say.
Barack stands in front of a youthful crowd when he speaks? Out goes Madeline Albright and Wes Clark and in comes the cast of “High School Musical”.
And when you’re losing the race as your campaign enters Pennsylvania, you attempt to co-opt the story of a working-class guy who overcame the odds by showing heart.
You aren’t working class, Hillary.
You aren’t the underdog showing heart. You are Grey Goo.
And you certainly aren’t like the millions of people who are clinging to some small-but-real thing inside themselves, trying to sustain it day after day against desperate odds. You’re more like what white people are to Blues Music. (With the exception of Stevie Ray Vaughan. He was rad.)
Hillary — You can hit the notes, but I don’t believe you when you sing.
So, for this especially insipid suck-up to working-class people, I’d love for the ghost of “Mick the Trainer” to give us one final flashback montage. He could hover over your head at your next rally and snarl “God Damn You!” with the thunder of a thousand Jeremiah Wrights. But I know that if that got any sort of popular response, you’d probably end up giving a speech standing in front of an enormous “God Damn You!” banner next week.
There’s a are big differences between “being a fighter” and being personally ambitious, or between “getting back up after being knocked down” and being whatever you have to be in order to win an election.
But the biggest difference between Hillary and Rocky? Everybody cheers when they see Rocky win.
If Hillary wins, only a few will. Most of us will just say “At least she’s not McCain…” as we trudge out of the theater.
