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I was originally going to try to tie the S.A.T.C. juggernaut in with this article, but I think that would give the impression that I was unfairly singling out the ladies for their hook-up-toilet-spiral into Valtrex customerhood while the fellas have got their fair share of diseased junk going on as well.
(But c’mon — ONE IN FOUR!!!! — Maybe those Purity Balls aren’t such a bad idea after all! )
And, yes, I know that this picture makes “Sex And The City” look glamorous, but stop and think about this:
Marketers are calling the release of the “Sex And The City” movie “the Super Bowl for Women”:
VF Daily: Sex and the City: A Product-Placement Roundup
And, ladies, you haven’t let them down. As of now, $350,000,000 has been taken out of the World’s pockets for the privilege of watching what is, essentially, a 148 minute commercial draped around a story.
Put four Manolo Blahnik shoes on a horse, put a Hollywood Marketing campaign behind it….release it into our culture…let people feed it money…and look what it poops out:
Gothamist: When Babies Need Their Own High Heels
….or how about this one?:
“My Beautiful Mommy”
I was trying to come up with something witty (or at least funny) to put a bow on that empty gift that our culture is turning into when Susan B. Anthony called me from the Great Beyond on my…um… Skype-connected Ouiji Board:
ME: “Yo — watchoogotforme, Suze?”
S.B.A.: “Cheggit — did you know, by comparison, the League of Woman Voters has $5,591,460 of net assets to work with this year.”
ME: “Yo Ess-Bee… that’s not actually a funny way to end it.”
She gave me a long Nipsey Russell “Riiiiiiiiight!” ….and then hung the fuck up on me.
That’s some cold-blooded shit.
(Picture Via Delicious Ghost and sarahjessicaparkerlookslikeahorse.com)
